The kids are taking a nap and it gives me some time to myself so I just wanted to write a little to relieve some stress. Its been one of those days.The snow is falling like a blizzard outside. I really enjoy just watching it fall though and how beautiful it graces the trees and the ground. Its completely pure and completely white. I pray a lot that God will make me pure and white. I know that until the day he calls me to heaven I never will be but I don't want to stop striving for it. I have made so many mistakes in the past and done a lot of things I am not proud of. Even though all of that is under the blood it still affects me. I live and breath in the choices and bad decisions I made in the past. Some days are better than others but lately its been just bad. I have noticed that I really don't have any friends. I know I know sob story but its the truth. I pushed them all away years ago then I moved on and built a life with my husband and children and I never made time for anyone else so its just me. Its kind of sad actually that one day when my children are grown and all my family passes away that it may just be me. I guess I just lost that part of me somewhere. I don't want to hurt anyone like I did in the past but at the same time I don't want them to hurt me and I know that's an awful way to live but its just how it is sometimes. Sure I have some friends at church and occasionally we go and do things together but that's really it. Honestly I am happy with my life. I have a wonderful husband with a great career. Two beautiful children that I adore and love with all my being. A great place to live and nice things. I have a great church to go to and above all I have a God that loves me and forgives me things I haven't even done yet and he has forgiven me of my past and forgot about it. I shouldn't be complaining and really I'm not but it does get lonely moving around all the time with a military husband and its hard when I go back to Indiana and all my old friends really don't have much to say to me anymore...........I don't know. Too much on my mind lately and way to much time to think about it.
The summer is right around the corner so that means a lot of sunshine and fresh air. Goodness do I need both in my life....The winter is beautiful but the Summer smiles a whole lot more!
Isaiah 1:18 (NIV)
18 “Come now, let us settle the matter,”
says the LORD.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.
Psalm 51:7 (NLT)
7 Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow
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